jonathan

“Did you see that?!” Corkle yelled. Jonathan McCorkle, or “Corkle,” as he’s known, was shouting into my ear during a show at Snug Harbor. It was the same Scowl Brow show where Jerry crowd surfed. “This is my favorite local band,” he said, “because every time they play it’s a beer shower.” He was soaked.

I met Jonathan when he worked at our store, and he’s been one of my main links to the fixie scene. Jonathan is a member of W.A.R., and he has introduced me to the leaders of his club, Lauren and Greg, as well as several other fixie kids. I’ve seen Jonathan partying in his natural habitat on a number of occasions: jovial and intoxicated at Common Market, the Banktown Brawl bike event and Jerry’s alley cat race, which he won, speech-slurring drunk.

Yesterday I joined him and a couple dozen others for an alley cat at Veteran’s park, hoping to find a story. I arrived just in time to watch a dozen riders gather in the parking lot and set off on a ten-mile race. I sat out; I didn’t have a brakeless fixed-gear bike, the only kind admitted.

Half of the racers were my coworkers. After 20 minutes, John “Mailbox” and Trey came flying down the hill to tie for first at the pavilion finish line. Trey showed off a flat tire he’d ridden on for miles. Jonathan was third. “I’m really drunk,” was his excuse. “I drank a lot before this. Like four beers and two Red Bulls.”

Later, I somehow managed to win a 24-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon in a track stand competition. (Track standing is just balancing, stopped, on a bicycle.) “What am I going to do with this?” I wondered. I was sure my victory was solely due to my being the only rider even close to sober.

I shared my winnings. “Can I grab like two of those?” Jonathan said, reaching into the box. Almost a dozen cans were gone before I left. For hours the crowd of young men caroused, rehashing dramatic moments of the race, shouting over each other, drinking and smoking. Of the 30-person turnout, only five were women.

I was struck by the ease with which everyone got along: skate kids, girlfriends, someone’s mother, black kids and white kids, interacting seamlessly and enthusiastically. They shared a bond deeper than any demographic. They shared alcohol.

Earlier this week, on Monday night, I visited Jonathan’s apartment to record an interview. It was after ten, and we stood outside behind his apartment. “I can’t afford cable so I don’t watch cable,” he told me, pausing to draw on his cigarette. “And there’s a lot more of like a social scene up here. So it kind of makes you lose a little bit of touch with the outside world.”

We were talking about Plaza Midwood, the neighborhood we stood in. I had been picking Jonathan’s brain about Common Market and Charlotte bike culture. We went inside and sat down in his room, surrounded by bike parts hanging on the walls.

I asked about Jonathan’s life philosophy, mentioning Jerry’s and my discussion on the same topic. “What did he say? ‘You drink a lot and party hard and then you die’?” he asked, laughing. “I do a lot of that,” he admitted. No kidding. But what he told me next surprised me.

Jonathan said he’s been on break from a 2-year program in Geospacial Technologies at CPCC. He talked about his interest in map-making, producing a text full of Greek letters and trigonometry. “Man, it’s been a year and a half since I’ve seen any of this stuff,” he said. “I’m starting to forget. Doesn’t help that I smoke weed.”

He said he only had 3 or 4 credits left to complete his program and transfer to Appalachian State. He admitted that getting a degree was mostly a tool to make more money. “I just had to quit going to school so I could work full-time to afford living up here. I wasn’t trying to live with my parents forever. I didn’t have any extra money left over so I just haven’t been back to school.”

I was impressed. Just think, Corkle, the consummate party kid bike punk, a number-crunching, career-oriented academic. Jonathan paused to reflect for a moment. “But I’ve had fun since then!” he added.

A correction: In last week’s story I said Jerry rode for W.A.R. He corrected me, saying he rides for R.A.D. while the others with associations at work ride for W.A.R. I flip-flopped them in my mind. I apologize to my readers and vow to avoid such grave lapses in reporting henceforth.

Ehem.

This article’s project has been in the works for almost as long as this blog. I spent a month in February and March recording all kinds of details about every delivery I made, 268 of them all told. Skip to the next section to see my results.

I wanted to know what went into a customer’s tipping decision: how long they wait, how much they buy, their sex, race, income, or just habit? I was especially intrigued with the paradox of chipper customers who tipped poorly, and of sullen customers who nevertheless tipped me generously.

I paused at front desks, driveways and elevators to scribble observations in a tiny pocket journal. With each entry, I would draw a triangle and rate my customer’s mood on a scale from 1 to 4.

I love the kind of writing and research done by authors like Malcolm Gladwell and the authors of Freakonomics. They use data to understand why people do what they do. This pet research project of mine is one nerdy attempt to teach myself to do the same thing.

I’m not a mathematician. I’m learning as I go; I’m not yet proficient with the nuances of standard deviation, statistical significance or adjustment for multiple factors. These findings are fairly preliminary and don’t stack up to accepted standards of blah, blah, blah… I do think there are a few clear and immediate insights, and I plan to dig deeper. I’d welcome any expert help.

A Typical Delivery
Sometimes people in elevators and office buildings are surprised to learn I’ll deliver for one sandwich. That’s actually the standard. Here’s a snapshot of the average delivery. The average delivery costs $8.88 (although real prices come out to multiples of $.25), contains one sandwich and takes 16.5 minutes to deliver. It earns its driver a tip of $2.71. My average shift, at least during the study, lasted between 3 and 4 hours, during which I ran 13 deliveries.

Here’s what I found about tipping in my job:

Men tip an average of 15% more than women.
The average tip from a male is $2.91, while his female counterpart tips $2.53. Again, this describes the tiny subset of men and women living and working Uptown, and specifically those who order sandwiches for delivery.

Interestingly, men also usually spend about a dollar more per order than women. That equals a can of coke. The exception here is with large orders, where women seem to coordinate more of the lunch meeting catering orders. Women also order almost two sandwiches per delivery, whereas men order fewer than 1.5. Neither sex seems to be any more prone to sandwich cravings than the other. The breakup is almost exactly 50 / 50.

Variance by Race
A FEW DISCLAIMERS: I have been cringing to write this section for fear of accusations of racism, but despite the limitations I think there may be something of value here. While I described several groups by race in my research, blacks and whites were the only groups to show up in large enough numbers to show reliable trends. I’ll include Asians as well, but as there were only 9 in my data set any conclusions should be taken with a grain of salt. I made race determinations visually. Sometimes I wouldn’t see the person at all. I suspect that I tended to describe some mixed-race and latino customers as white. I consider race, along with economic class, to be the least reliable dimensions of my research since they are both incredibly hard to measure with confidence.

Let’s take a look at the data.

Whites averaged $3.10 per tip, Asians, $3 per tip, and blacks averaged $2 per tip.

Again, here it’s important to note that blacks were overrepresented in jobs that appeared to be blue-collar (which I defined as hourly-waged rather than salaried). Blacks were equally likely to be blue- or white-collar workers. Whites, meanwhile, were three times more likely to be white-collar than blue-collar. This brings us to our next point.

White-collar workers tipped 14% more than blue-collar workers. Blue-collar workers tipped an average $2.39. White-collar workers tipped $2.72. Perhaps this isn’t surprising. Maybe what is surprising about this figure is that it isn’t larger, given the huge income disparity amongst our customers.

Interestingly, a large third group of individuals that I labeled “N/A” for class were the most generous tippers, giving $3.01, a full 26% more than blue-collar workers. I have no clue how to explain this. Perhaps these people were too busy to accept their own lunch and had someone else sign for it. In that case, maybe they played executive roles and thus had higher incomes.

This is what’s so fun and so dangerous about statistics: you can read any story you want onto a figure. It’s human nature to seek stories that explain the world, but sometimes we’re overeager and get into trouble. It would be wise, then, to investigate this “executive” hypothesis with further research before propagating any “common sense” narrative for it. Oops, too late.

Wait Time
Our company brands itself for its fast delivery. It turns out that yes, in fact, tips drop off with longer wait times. Deliveries made in under 20 minutes earned tips of 26% of their subtotal price, while longer waits pushed tips down to 22% of subtotals. That’s a 15% drop in tip income between fast and slow deliveries. I’d better get my tushy moving!

Mood matters a little.
The difference in tipping between a low-energy, minimally engaged 2 rating to a personable and positive 3 rating goes along with only a 12% increase in tipping, from $2.54 to $2.84. Tipping actually goes down with the jump to extreme chipperness, with 4’s tipping an average $2.80.

I had only two instances of 1 moods, which I defined as demonstrably angry. Of these, one person gave me a dollar. So one could make the (irrelevant and ridiculous) statement that moving from a 1 to a 2 will increase tipping fivefold.

I broke my wrist halfway through this study. I had a cast on my left hand starting at the beginning of March, and I wondered whether this garnered me any sympathy tips. As it turns out, though, my tips actually dropped about 9%. Go figure.

The real takeaway here is that most of what goes into a tip has little to do with a person’s individual sandwich experience. A tip can be predicted more by factors that were established at birth than anything else. A person’s race, gender, and economic class have a huge effect on their likely tipping practices.

These kinds of findings make me want to work towards a world with better opportunities for the less fortunate. I think poor tipping speaks to poor life opportunities. Tipping is certainly cultural, and so is poverty.

I think it’s particularly important to tackle root causes of problems like generational poverty. That’s why I’m motivated to start asking questions like how we can better equip parents of underprivileged children. Using data can help us get there.

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punk-floor

Jerry has always surprised me with his nuggets of practical wisdom. One day I was admiring the giant industrial can opener we use at the store. “You know there’s a way to open a can without a can opener,” he chimed in. “Oh really? How?” I wondered. He explained that traveling kids open cans by scraping them upside down against a sidewalk. The concrete wears away the lip until the lid separates from the container, allowing it to lift off. On another occasion, Jerry recommended using zip ties to temporarily fix a gear that was falling off my bike. I was amazed that the fix not only worked, but held flawlessly for 3 hours, long enough to finish my shift and go to a bike shop.

These but a few examples of Jerry’s “punk wisdom.” His intelligence, curiosity and resourcefulness have given him an understanding of the world that never ceases to amaze me. He amazes me, in part, because I realize he could pursue more in life if he wanted to. Jerry has invested several thousand dollars in his own pedicab enterprise, hauling passengers during weekends and events and employing friends who use his rig while he works at the shop. “Working for someone else is kind of like renting out your life,” he said, explaining his entrepreneurial bent, “they make way more money off your time than you do.” But most of Jerry’s entrepreneurial projects are just that – side projects.

I’ve tried asking Jerry about ideas like the “highest good” and “moral imperatives.” “If someone wrote a book about your life, what would be the common theme?” I asked. Jerry paused for a long time. We sat under a car port at his place, and a storm had rolled in. I heard a thunder clap in the distance. Rain beat on the roof as half a minute passed. “I dunno…” he said finally, and paused to consider again. “Probably like, I have actually no idea what it would be about,” he said. He admitted he was still figuring it out. He said he was only 30, that he was trying to do better than generations that came before, but in his own way, with his own priorities. He lamented having to work multiple jobs, but said he appreciated the ability to do “fun stuff,” playing music, traveling and riding bikes. I suggested that his lifestyle could be described as bum life. “I guess someone on the outside could call it that,” he said, “but it’s hard to get a good look at it.”

The fact of the matter is that Jerry doesn’t think about life in terms of the highest good or any moral imperative. The closest thing Jerry has to a life goal is collecting experience. “I’m not into having shit. I’m into doing shit,” he told me. Money and things, for Jerry, are just tools for collecting experience. He said life is a work of art, and we shape life with our experiences. “You’d be wasting it if you’re not getting after it,” he said. “Live and let live. That’s kind of the unifying theme for me.”

One night after work, Jerry and I found ourselves sitting on a bench outside Common Market. We got to talking about his favorite places: half a dozen dumpster diving spots and the best times to visit them, a rooftop from which to watch baseball games for free, and three or four hole-in-the-wall joints to get food. He told me the Shell station on South Boulevard has great fried chicken, and that the best time to go is at night, when the Asian lady who makes it best is there. I asked him where he would take his girlfriend on a date. He described his typical “punk date.” He said he’d grab an inexpensive bottle of wine and some smokes from Common Market, ride bikes Uptown and climb a parking deck or a water tower. “That’s the classy version,” he clarified. The less classy version? 1. Buy cheap alcohol. 2 Ride somewhere. 3. Consume cheap alcohol.

While Jerry seems particularly at home in the pit at a punk show, he also finds amusement in other simple ways that I imagine most of our coworkers wouldn’t even consider. One of the times Jerry and I were both at Common Market (they’re all starting to blend together), I produced a counterfeit $20 I’d accepted on delivery. I complained that I didn’t know what to do with it. I wouldn’t feel right spending it, and I wasn’t ready to throw it away. “Does anybody have any string?” he asked. Jerry had an idea. In a couple minutes we were lying in ambush, fishing for suckers with the bill lying on the sidewalk, a piece of string taped to it and hidden in a crack in the pavement. “I can’t believe how many people walk over it without even noticing!” we mused. We had a few bites but mostly enjoyed the thrill of the hunt. I was delighted that Jerry had both thought up the idea and was as into it as I was.

Jerry doesn’t have what I would describe as a fully-formed ideology. In talking about his politics, he pointed out that talking about anarchy as a political system is akin to describing “not collecting stamps” as a hobby. But for all his prolonged adolescence, this much is true about Jerry. He lives his life on his own terms, and he has fun.

I remember one of my first conversations with Jerry Wayne. “How long have you been delivering?” I asked. “Well, I’ve been doing bike work of one kind or another for 7 years,” he told me. Then we both left with deliveries and I watched him ride up the left side of the street, between a line of parked cars and oncoming traffic. “How has he done this for 7 years without getting killed or arrested?” I wondered to myself.

A little context in talking about bike kids: A lot of my coworkers are bike punks. The bike kid scene in Charlotte is remarkably well-connected, and the community I’ve been privvy to centers around Common Market in Plaza Midwood. There are a handful of bike clubs, of which I have coworkers in two: RAD (Officially Ride and Destroy, although “Ride and Drink” is another apt moniker I’ve heard) and Jerry’s club, WAR (We All Ride). Jerry describes WAR as “a drinking club with a bike problem.”

So it was easy to understand Jerry as a bike punk. He resents authority. He drinks and smokes marijuana. Jerry could talk all day about the injustice of government and big commerce. And while he points out conspiracies and Illuminati symbolism in all sorts of cultural artifacts, when I asked if Jerry was an activist, he was emphatic that he was not. “I just bitch, you know,” he admitted.

One would be remiss to think of Jerry as merely a bike punk. Jerry and I have had countless chats on topics as varied as philosophy, local law and the traveling salesman problem in mathematics. He’s intelligent and curious. He explores Uptown while on delivery, trying to find accessible back rooms and rooftops. He knows much about such a variety of topics precisely because he’s curious.

Jerry’s primary source of curiosity is other people. He encourages the DIY approach. He pulls his friends together to put on events. Once, Jerry put together an alley cat race, on a whim, in two weeks. The messenger-themed bike race had almost a dozen volunteers, just as many participants and even a host of sponsors and prizes. The multi-stage race was a hysterical romp (I won a prize for finishing last.), and cyclists from as far as Indiana hung around kibitzing for hours afterwards.

Earlier this spring, Jerry also helped plan a regional all-day bike event. Park rangers corralled the bike kids to a suitable corner of Veteran’s Park, demanded that they put away their alcohol and ultimately gave up dealing with them. The event proceeded, complete with Jackass-inspired competitions like tall bike jousting (yes, this is even more dangerous than it sounds) and a bungee bike race. And then there was a scavenger hunt whose objectives included delivering cans of beer and hits of pot to Jerry Wayne, who had shown up already so intoxicated he hardly spoke.

I experienced Jerry’s sensitivity to people firsthand when he asked me to design a poster for his band. He had heard me talk about my dream of designing gig posters. He even had the consideration to ply me with beer, producing a PBR tallboy out of nowhere while we hung out at Common Market. And I have to admit, in the dumbest way possible, it actually made me feel seen and appreciated. Of all his contradictions, maybe this is the most surprising. Jerry Wayne is a bike punk people person.

Author’s note: This story is just the tip of the iceberg. I plan to post more about Jerry and his friends next week.

Two word story

“Yesterday’s bread.”

In our POS system it’s labeled “Day old bread.” In fact, that’s what we usually call it around the store, and that’s what it is in its simplest terms. But I saw the sign in our store advertising “yesterday’s bread” and had to marvel at the marketing wisdom behind it. Day old bread is damaged goods. Yesterday’s bread is a story. It implies the whole series of events that starts with laying out dough, takes one through a day of interactions and ends with saving and reusing what would otherwise be waste. It’s a tiny picture of disappointment and redemption.

That’s such a clear case study for what a story does. It pulls you along on a journey and leaves you with a gift, some bigger idea about life. The best stories give us hope to deal with difficulty. Whether they tie up neatly or examine suffering and uncertainty, stories do their best work by showing us that there is beauty around us and that beauty is possible.

humming bird

Bizarre not to see this bird aloft, alive
Buzzing and busy
Is there anything so small or sad
Epic tragedy on a tiny scale

Who has ever seen a dead hummingbird?

Eerie, a perfect paradox
Small, stiff, still, senseless wings
Wings which beat 60 times a second
Cleave motionless to pavement

Jury Duty

I missed work Monday a week and a half ago. I had jury duty. I had known I’d have jury duty, or “jury service,” as the orientation video called it, for two months prior, but I wasn’t sure what to expect. 

The jury assembly room in the courthouse far exceeded my imaginings. It had a café, no fewer than five rooms with TVs playing Frasier, free wifi and computer terminals. There was even a mezzanine with a pool table and board games. The dress code was business casual and 200 other jurors, Mecklenburg residents selected at random. It was the most diverse crowd I’d seen in one space since moving to Charlotte. These people fascinated me. I looked at each one and wondered all day what lives they had put on pause to fulfill their obligations here.

I heard from friends I’d probably sit around for a few hours and then be sent home. The sitting around was definitely true, but at 3:30 the PA called all jurors to the main assembly room. A coordinator started listing names of jurors to report to a courtroom that afternoon. I whispered to the woman next to me, “It’s like Russian Roulette!” She smiled, winced and nodded all at the same time.

“Seagle?” “Here.” “Miller?” “Here.” “Eleezer?” “Here.” Click. Click. Click.

“Noble?” “Here.” “Gibson?” “Here.” “Sirico?” BOOM.

“HERE,” I heard my voice go low and loud. “Damnit,” I muttered, feeling my neighbor’s pity stare.

In the courtroom, names were called again at random to select 12 jurors from our group of 25. Click. Click. Click. Click. Boom. Called again, what odds. I guessed I had made at least the 80th percentile of unlucky jurors that day. So I took my seat in the jury box. All of a sudden I was part of a drama that wasn’t about me at all.

Jury selection got under way, meaning we were “interviewed” by each of two attorneys. For the next hour and a half we were grilled by the DA’s assistant, the prosecuting attorney. It was a criminal case. He started building his story, summarizing allegations involving a firearm. It sounded serious. Indeed, he told us the trial would likely last two and a half days (not including the day now spent). The prosecutor asked us leading questions to test our sympathy for the defendant, a scared looking young black man with bloodshot eyes. Often his questions sounded more like assertions. He said circumstantial evidence is equal to direct evidence in the eyes of the law, and the defendant raised his eyebrows. The defense attorney didn’t even blink. Again the prosecutor lectured sternly about “reasonable doubt,” asking if we would use common sense, not some “beyond a shadow of a doubt” standard. I couldn’t stop thinking about the length of the trial. I hadn’t planned to miss the better part of a week’s wages. I hatched an escape plan, a way to avoid a second day at the courthouse. 

Sensing an opportune moment, I piped up. “Have I seen you before?” I asked the prosecutor. He made a puzzled face and said he didn’t think so. I recounted a story of having a traffic ticket dismissed at the assistant DA’s window. It probably wasn’t him, he said. “Do you think you can be fair and impartial despite that experience?” he asked. I thought momentarily and answered with a defeated “yes.” “You hesitated there. Is there some reason you wouldn’t be able to separate yourself from any feelings you may have as a result of that experience?” The prosecutor was thoroughgoing, so much so that one couldn’t help wondering what he was trying to prove. “I don’t believe it’s possible to eliminate all bias, but I’ll certainly try,” I said. This was evidently not the answer my interviewer was looking for. “Can you promise to do your best to disregard any feeling you may have about that experience and evaluate this case solely on the evidence presented here?” He asked again. “Yes, absolutely,” I said, now just trying to appease him. My plan had failed. Five o’clock came and we were given instructions to return the next morning.

I went home defeated, but I was also intrigued. I was surprised by the showmanship of the exchange. The prosecutor wasn’t cordial or winning. Instead his manner was authoritarian, chiding, even antagonistic. The defense attorney had looked bored, almost inanimate. Instead he sat by waiting his turn. It felt a little like watching a stage play. I was hooked, sucked in to the drama. By the time I made my way back the next morning I had excused myself from work again and was prepared to see the trial through.

We picked up where we had left off. The prosecutor wrapped up his questioning and requested three jurors be dismissed. The judge obliged. Soon it was the defense attorney’s turn, and his character came to life. He was older, with an angular nose and thin, protruding brows that smooshed together for a moment before each point he made. He looked the part of a villain, but I found myself wanting to be sympathetic to him. He provided a foil to the prosecutor’s overbearing didacticism. He was serious but with a dry wit. He started vetting us first with questions he admitted were odd. He asked who had traveled to other countries in recent years and if anyone spoke any foreign languages. I responded yes to both. His questioning was more brief, and he focused on three of us jurors: a business man, a professional looking woman, and me. He asked about my exchange the day before, inquiring again if my experience would bias me. I assured him that it would not, especially since the prosecutor was not the man who pardoned my ticket. I backpedaled. As he continued asking us questions I began to feel dismayed, misunderstood. Didn’t the defender realize I’d be sympathetic, reasonable?

Soon enough the defense attorney asked the judge for permission to dismiss three jurors. Click. Click. Boom. I heard my name called one third and final time, along with the business man and the professional woman. I felt like someone had kicked me in the chest. “Thank God,” I heard the woman say as we walked out of the courtroom. The man agreed. “They seem happy,” I thought. “Shouldn’t I be?” 

Two sandwiches too late

Hey folks, sorry to bring this story to you late. I broke my bike and bought a new one this week and haven’t had much time to write. Here goes.

Our store is always short-staffed on Thursdays. Yesterday was no exception, and we were extraordinarily busy. There was a list of late deliveries filling the dispatch screen until well after 1 p.m. Later, I found myself recounting some of the day’s fallout to a lady that works at an office tower reception desk I often visit on delivery. She was middle aged and bubbly, with a poofy blonde bob. Our conversation had turned to comparing work stories.

I told her about an order I delivered to a woman named Susan early in the shift. “Well I’m just surprised to hear you’re not concerned about that,” I heard Susan say over the phone as I stepped into her office in a government building near the highway. She hung up and I said “Hey, how’re you today?” “Not very good,” she said. “Oh, I’m sorry to hear that,” I replied, expecting to hear about some health problem or financial crisis. “It took forty minutes for you guys to get me that sandwich,” she said. “Oh, did it?” I asked, genuinely unaware of how late the order had been. I had delivered a catering order before I got to Susan, and I spent several minutes gathering all the sides. I saw some of the orders in the store had been 20 minutes old before even going out.

“And that manager there is a real jerk! I just got off the phone with him, and he didn’t even care that I had to wait 40 minutes.” I listened and tried to be empathetic. Susan restated the same sentiments at least three or four times during our conversation, and in such invective tones I had to pause to be certain she hadn’t been swearing. She complained that my manager was unhelpful and rude, that she just could have gotten a pizza in the time she waited. She didn’t raise her voice toward me, however, and I apologized for her wait and for my manager. She sat staring at her credit receipt, pen in hand, shaking her hand. She was so worked up she struggled to form a sentence. “Well, I’m not going to sign–I’m not paying twelve dollars,” she said. She explained that she refused to pay for her sandwich, which I was to take back to the store, but that the other was for her coworker. I called the store to figure out what I should do and got an earful from my manager, who was audibly flustered. He sounded as ill-equipped to handle the situation as the lady did. “Well yeah, she’s upset because you took too f—ing long getting there. Chris, just bring the sandwich back,” he said. “Listen, I’m going to cross out the total and write in the total for the one sandwich,” I said, insisting that he approve a course of action before hanging up. He finally agreed, and Susan signed the amended receipt. She marched off with it to make a copy for her records, and when she returned I saw “$5.50 ONLY!” written in pastel blue gel pen at the top of the ticket. She vented about the injustice dealt to her for a moment more before conceding that she wouldn’t penalize me for my boss’s behavior. Then she handed me two one-dollar bills.

“Thank you very much for that,” I said, feeling surprised. “Here’s hoping that the rest of your afternoon goes better,” I offered, and she gave a sullen, pathetic nod. I was convinced that she would not feel alright for a long while.

I told the receptionist, whose name I learned was Joanna, about another lady I delivered to an hour later. Her name was Christina. She worked in a Bank of America office building, and she had been waiting for some time in the lobby when I got there. “Oh, ugh, it’s dinner now!” she exclaimed. “It’s not lunch anymore!” “Oh, I’m so sorry, did we keep you waiting long?” I said, gathering that she was both joking and excited to finally have her long-awaited lunch. We had kept her waiting long. Christina trotted over to the security desk and tore open her sandwich bag, smiling wryly and continuing her playful dramatic complaint. I played along, commiserating about how grumpy I get when I’m hungry. She smiled and handed me the credit slip with a $2 tip written in. I thanked her for her patience. “I wasn’t patient!” she protested as I turned and strode for the door. “Well thank you for being gracious!” I shouted behind me as I stepped out, full of wonder at how well the delivery had gone despite the circumstance.

“So you see all kinds of attitudes delivering uptown,” I summarized to Joanna the receptionist. “Oh, don’t I know it,” She said. “I cannot believe these people sometimes. Sometimes I just tell ’em, ‘You need to walk right back out that door and change your attitude. If you’re not grateful for your job, there are 10 or 12 other people out there that would be glad to have it!” “Good for you! You set ’em straight!” I laughed. “I do!” she said, “I tell ’em to their face. I’m like the mom around here.” “Yeah, she keeps us in line!” chimed in the woman whose sandwich I was holding. We both laughed as I gave her the sandwich, collected my slip and said goodbye. “Keep it up!” I said to my new friend Joanna and made my way to the elevator.

Carly, Ashley, Anita

I ran a delivery to the Charlotte Plaza building two weeks ago. I had just dropped off the sandwich on the 20th floor and was looking down as I tucked the credit slip into my wallet when I heard the elevator arrive. I must’ve stepped into the wrong one because I found myself going up rather than down. I arrived at the 27th floor, where two men and a woman joined me. They were dressed in business attire, young to middle-aged, but the woman looked younger than the men. She wore a suit jacket and a red and white skirt. She was tall and had shoulder length red-brown hair. “Wait, your name is Ashley?” one of the men asked. “Yeah,” she said with a quick laugh. “Oh, I thought it was Carly.” “I guess they’re pretty close,” she said, tilting her head. “Nah,” “No, not really,” said the men with a little embarrassed laugh. “Wait, who’s Carly?” said the first man, turning toward the second. “I think Carly was the intern,” said the other man. “At least we didn’t call you Dalina,” said the first. “Yeah!” laughed the second. “I definitely would’ve said something if you had called me Dalina!” said the woman as she started chuckling along. I wondered

Ashley seemed to be carrying herself with an air of feigned confidence. She seemed to strive to fit in. The men also tried their best to be smooth and authoritative, but they weren’t totally at ease. Soon I realized the context of the conversation I’d stumbled into. “Yeah, your résumé has your middle name on it too, doesn’t it?” asked the first man. “Yeah, it does,” said Ashley. The man tapped his phone a couple times and then said, “Yeah, it’s Marie.” “You should’ve said something when we called you Carly!” the first man reiterated, evidently still embarrassed. “I just figured you’d realize it sooner or later,” Ashley said accommodatingly.

We all stood in silence for a moment, nervously glancing around so as to avoid eye contact. The elevator whooshed downward.

“You know, when I was in school I had a teacher who always called me Anita,” Ashley started, filling the silence. “I couldn’t get him to call me by my right name. I would say, ‘It’s Ashley,’ and he’d say ‘Oh, I’m sorry. Okay, Anita,'” I started chuckling at this point, less because of the anecdote than the growing absurdity of the situation. My quiet giggle spilled into a laugh, and the second man started laughing too. I was feeling playful when the doors opened so I stood waiting for my reluctant travel companions to step out first. They all looked around again, wondering who was to go first. The men started, then hesitated, a stilted gesture of courtesy for the lady who was now the reluctant center of attention. We all finally disembarked, and I smiled as I descended an escalator, musing at the fortunate mistake that had led me into the whole scenario.

I met these two today after work. I noticed them standing facing each other on the sidewalk as I rode on Tryon toward my car. They were strumming away and smiling into each other’s eyes as they sang. I had to stop. I was delightfully surprised to hear how tight and clear their music was, with such lovely, well-wrought harmonies.

“You guys are pretty good!” I said at the end of a song. They were humble, saying they’d only played a handful of shows. I introduced myself and learned their names, George and Kelley. Kelley said they were from Naples, Florida but had moved to Greeneville, South Carolina. George said he was in town for a gig tonight, but the two of them were just doing some busking to practice together.

Two of my friends serendipitously rode up on bikes from opposite directions, and then we watched as they played this song, which they transitioned into a medley with Johnny Cash’s Folsom Prison as my phone ran out of storage. My friends and I stood there practically gaping, exchanging awed smiles.

My Girl My Whiskey & Me are fun to watch because they have fun playing. They lock eyes and smile. They read each other and steer their music spontaneously. It’s clear they know what they’re doing, and it’s just as clear they wouldn’t rather do anything else. They are enthusiastic – thoroughly alive – and the effect is contagious.